30 Day Challenge (part 2)

14. What is an old album you go back and listen to, time and time again. And why? 


Songs: Ohia- The Lioness

Exactly 20 years ago (!) I started listening to Jason Molina and fell in love. I spent too much time alone around that time and related to the sad feel of the album. I felt the romanticism of the lyrics and daydreamed that Lioness was written for me. This album is so beautiful that to this day, it actually makes me cry when I listen to it from start to finish. There isn't one bad note, one song I want to skip. It's indie, alternative, country, Americana, melancholy genius.

30 Day Challenge (part 2)

13. Something (s) in your appearance you would like to change. 

My tummy, especially when I sit. My thighs eww.

My pronounced hip dips (this is the inward curve below the hips and above the thigh) that make clothes fit funny.

My hair, it's all thin and lacking volume and strength.

My chubby fingers.


This question should have been something (s) in your appearance that you love.

I like my mushy tummy, my mushy body, because it produced another human being. 

I like my pronounced hips because they accentuate my femininity. 

My hair because it's long and a natural rich brown colour.

My fingers that take a beating in the winter and still manage to stay strong and nimble.

30 Day Challenge (part 2)

12. What do you think people find annoying about you? 

I have certain issues with food that most people find annoying. Sometimes I'll buy something at the grocery store and the next day I'll just throw it out because I feel like the purchase was a mistake (wasteful eh?). I'm picky and if something seems "off" with my meal I'll lose my appetite and even feel nauseous. I eat super slowly. I dissect my food, especially a sandwich. I'll never ever finish what's on my plate (and if I'm served a soup I'll probably only have a quarter of it).

I won't participate in most conversations in a group setting.

I'm really boring in winter since I'll say no to all outdoor activities. No snowshoeing, skiing, nature walks, skating, playing outside etc etc. A few winters ago some friends went ice fishing... That's a hard no.

I type loudly.

I like to sigh.

30 Day Challege (part 2)

11. A reality you need to come to peace with. 

I have a child with special needs. Coming to terms with this reality is multifaceted... I can find peace but it's so easy to succumb to anger. I feel it mostly when people talk about their children (which is always!). I very easily and too often "check out", disengage, and wish for a distraction. I want to be able to listen with interest and offer something to the conversation! Maybe with time but for now, it's still really hard...

30 Day Challenge (part 2)

10. How do you want to be remembered? 

I want to be remembered as caring, goofy, complicated, loving, sensitive, mindful and hard working. Remember me as I am now, young and vibrant and always cuddling with Baby (even when he doesn't want to).

30 Day Challenge (part 2)

9. An odd fact you know. 

I know that the traditional 10th anniversary gift is tin. I remember this from an episode of Gilmore Girls. The complete anniversary list (which I don't actually know by heart) is:

1. Paper

2. Cotton

3. Leather

4. Fruits/Flowers

5. Wood

6. Candy/Iron

7. Copper/Wool

8. Bronze

9. Pottery

10. Tin/Aluminum 

20. China

25. Silver

30. Pearl

35. Coral

40. Ruby (coincidently by sisters turn 40 today and their birth stone is Ruby!)

45. Sapphire 

50. Gold

55. Emerald

60. Diamond 

There are meanings behind each, I don't know those either.


Another odd fact I know is that you can use breast milk on a pregnancy test instead of pee!

30 Day Challenge (part 2)

8. Wild thing(s) I want to try. 

I'm the biggest wussy ever. I never had an interest in daredevil type things like skydiving (I can't even take an airplane without having a panic attack!) or bungee jumping. I will not jump off the cliff into the ocean, heck I don't even like swimming in the ocean for fear of ... the waves (and getting attacked by a shark of course).

Something that could be considered wild that I'm really attracted to is getting a septum piercing. Not the awful bull ring (too wild) but a delicate thin gold hoop. Feminine with a touch of wild, seems to fit pretty well. Apparently if the piercing is done right (not through the cartilage) the pain is minimal... So maybe one day!


 

30 Day Challenge (part 2)

7. Something your younger self would be shocked to learn.

My teenage self had this "against the establishment" mentality. I used to dye my hair in high school all kinds of colours just to get in trouble so I could make an argument against antiquated rules that stifle individuality and freedom of expression... Eye roll! Young me would be shocked to learn that I've turned "corporate". I like rules and order and routine. I'm happy that my job has a strict dress code! I feel good around men and women in suits!! I like neighbourhoods that have been gentrified, and the starving artist isn't appealing anymore. Sorry young me!

30 Day Challenge (part 2)

6. Write the words you need to hear. 

Your salary has been doubled. Your mistakes don't matter. I'll do that for you. You should be proud, look at all you have accomplished. There's wine in the fridge. Pack your bags. Sleep in. The phones at work broke. Did you lose weight?! Gluten free cinnamon buns that taste good do exist. Whatever you need. Whatever you want. The coffee's fresh.   

30 Day Challenge (part 2)

5. Something you're looking forward to. 

This morning my cat Moka never came home. After a night out, this is highly unusual... She's usually eager to come inside and eat/drink something. I'm super worried that she's either hurt, kidnapped or dead!! I am so looking forward to seeing her again and giving her a big hug. I promise to spend more time with her, pet her and give her some long overdue affection. Please please come back Moka!!

Update: Moka came back this afternoon! She's acting strange, avoiding the house but she's around... Phew!
Update part 2: One week later and I still haven't given her much attention. Such a bad person.

30 Day Challenge (part 2)

4. If you could be anything in the world, what would it be? 

I have a Bachelor's degree in Finance from McGill and I work in my field... to a certain extent. I work in a bank with (for) Investment Advisors but my current job title is "Administrative Assistant". I know I'm not putting the (gruelling) years of schooling to good use or living up to my potential, but for now I'm happy with my job. I actually love what I do, feel that I'm pretty good at it, and it allows me the flexibility I need now that I'm a mom.

If I could be anything, assuming that I have all the skills/knowledge, I would like to be a doctor, maybe a family doctor. I would be thorough and take the necessary time with my patients and love the idea that I can really help people. A philanthropic job that pays a lot seems to fit my personality pretty well!

I Hate (part 5)

I don't like:

short shorts
capped sleeves
artificial sweeteners
removing nail polish
over cutting nails
men in sandals
madras anything (especially shorts)
the wet look

30 Day Challenge (part 2)

2. What one fear you would like to conquer?

Fears have held me back, but I've also overcome a bunch of them. Current fears mostly revolve around the question "what will happen in the future?". My son's future with his handicap, my aging parents etc. I remember holding my new born son and for the first time being very aware of time. I didn't want any of us to age anymore, I wanted to freeze the clock for ever. The future seemed terrifying.

My acupuncturist has told me that me thinking about the future and stressing over it is a meaningless exercise because it's just impossible to predict what will happen. The past is done, any anger needs to be let go. Our reality, and what it truly important, is the present and how we react and deal with situations as they come. Seems so intuitive but the 2 points, one on each side of our shoulder blades, that represent hidden fears are still tense and painful and I know these fears are still very present.

30 Day Challenge (part 2)

1. What you wore today (this includes what you wore to bed). 

Picture of me in the bathroom at work:

Today I wore: 

- My flowery blouse. This silk top has been with me forever (over 10 years!). It's so old that it just spontaneously rips. My mom recently got it repaired for me (again) and I'm actually happy to be reunited with it! With all my countless wardrobe changes/purges/hateful thoughts, this top has never failed me. 

- A cardigan. I always have a sweater (even if it's 30 something degrees out). Notice how it's just long enough to cover my bum.

- Black pants. These are my go-to work pants that I probably wear too often.

- Pink shoes. Flats are a girl's best friend. 

Accessories include: earrings I bought for myself from Sears on crazy liquidation sale when it was closing. A necklace I got from Anthropologie that has a lower case t as a pendant. 

When I get home I immediately change into something comfy (today it's a pair of shorts and a t-shirt) and remove all my jewellery including my watch (missing from this picture because it died yesterday). 

What I wear to bed: I always, all year round, wear a t-shirt and underwear to bed. The t-shirt has to be cotton, not oversized but long enough to cover my bum (this is a super important detail in most of my getting dressed decisions).