Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Happy Birthday!

Dear Baby,
3 years ago today you were born. It was cold and snowing, you were alone in an incubator, exposed to bright neon lights, loud beeps, sharp needles, too many wires. I was there by your side, watching you, loving every cell in your tiny frail body. As I write these words it is also cold and snowing, but unlike 3 years ago, you are sleeping in my bed warm and cozy and happy. 3 years ago I was told that the love I was feeling might fade once my hormones got back into balance... But it didn't. I love you the same indescribable way I did that day! I'm so proud of the accomplishments you have made so far and cherish every minute we're together. Happy birthday!!
Mom xox

Friday, November 18, 2016

Thursday, November 17, 2016

No Words

le témoin- ariane brunet

Thursday, November 3, 2016

Anxious Much? Update

Yesterday was the third of six of my "Working Towards Guilt Free Motherhood" workshop. I made it half way! So far we tackled lots: self awareness, self esteem (how we tie it to our child's behaviour), the portrayal of motherhood in social media, acknowledging our mistakes to make repairs, our (often critical) inner voice, and how to be kind to oneself. We also touched on the importance of being open and sharing our experiences as a way to make connections. Being the silent observer, I was called upon with a question about connecting that I didn't really hear. I only heard my name and then the words "Sorry, I just can't" came out of my mouth in some kind of shaky stutter.


After the workshop, moms went out all together for lunch. I was invited but feeling like I wanted to crawl under the floorboards and die from embarrassment (ok, maybe a slight exaggeration) I declined. Was I always like this? So shy to the point of crying when asked to speak? Probably to some degree, but never this bad!

I still haven't recovered from the sight of seeing them all walk together towards a warm lunch and warm conversation. It made me crave connection, to feel understood, to feel safe and good and finally at peace. Needless to say, I won't be going back.

Wednesday, November 2, 2016


ben talmi

Tuesday, November 1, 2016