30 Day Challenge (part 2)

29. Something on your to do list 

My current To Do list has 2 important items:

1. My son's Baby Book 
This is a book I got from a colleague when I was pregnant. It's so beautiful with a space for thoughts and pictures for every milestone. I love the idea of this book but Baby's first year was too overwhelming for me to focus on starting it. Now I feel like it's just too late and it makes me sad when I see the empty pages.

2. Apply for a grant for parents with severely handicapped children
I gathered most of the paper work, I just have to finish up writing my justification and it's forcing me to face my reality and it's so hard.



Was this post depressing?! 

30 Day Challenge (part 2)

28. Tell me a joke

I'll give you 3!

Why did Sherlock Holmes go to the Mexican restaurant?
He was looking for a good case idea

A note to comfort an English teacher: their, they're, there

A nail walks into the bar
Bartender asks: "What can I get you?"
Nail says: "Anything that will get me hammered"

30 Day Challenge (part 2)

27. A fantasy you have

I often fantasize about being warm or moving someplace hot or changing my biochemistry. I have a condition where my body "overacts" when it gets cold and rushes all my blood to my organs away from my extremities. It's awful and painful and I spend a lot of time in the bathroom trying to get some blood back into my hands and feet under hot water. I have special gloves and socks that heat up, hand and foot warmers, a device that heats up that I hold. It happens all year round, and I'm supposed to be taking medication to protect my lungs and thin my blood (which I'm not, and choosing holistic healing instead). Moving somewhere warm would be so nice! What a great fantasy.

30 Day Challenge (part 2)

26. City or country

I love the city with its stylish people, fancy stores and cute cafes. I'm scared of nature and crazy bugs and storms and the idea of freezing to death alone in the woods. That being said, a hike in the woods, the peace and darkness is very appealing... but only for a weekend. The city is nice, safety in numbers.

30 Day Challenge (part 2)

25. Changes you can make to decrease you carbon footprint 

I use too much plastic! Ziplocks, those bags at the grocery store for fruits and vegetables, Saran wrap, straws. All easy fixes and easy to avoid... I just have to stop using these products!

Also I work in a bank and I'm always printing and photocopying and recycling. I'm sure there's a way to avoid this paper wastage. I tend to mail client everything but I should be offering to send digital copies via email. Instead of printing or writing do to lists, I should just have a digital one! I'm going to be more aware of my paper consumption from now on. 

30 Day Challenge (part 2)

24. What are some things that ruin a first impression? 

Arriving late. Being rude to wait staff/sales people. Teasing (the rude kind). Eye contact avoidance (guilty!). A shit handshake. The use of artificial sweeteners (this includes drinking a diet coke). Zero smiling. Fear of spice. Being loud. Bad shoes. Too much perfume. Also, I will instantly judge someone on how they interact and communicate with their child.

30 Day Challenge (part 2)

23. Something weird you do when you're home alone

It's pretty rare that I get to be home alone. I'm usually with my son who requires a lot of attention! On my day off I'm often running errands, driving here and there, or have one of my many self care or beauty appointments. But, when I do get that alone time, sometimes I like to just sit and literally just stare into space. Do nothing. Waste time. Weird eh!? It's relaxing ok. You should try it!

30 Day Challenge (part 2)

22. 7 things that make you smile

Today! It's my Dad's birthday and I love him :)
A failed high five
Everything related to my son
A bunny or bird of prey in the wild 
Anything newly organized
When a stranger smiles
When a banana disappears

30 Day Challenge (part 2)

21. Name your insecurities.

I'm insecure about my driving, mainly parking. If I have to parallel park, I will fail. Although I have paralleled parked on Jean Talon (busy street with crazy drivers in Mtl) a few times recently... But I attribute my success to luck or maybe magic.

I'm insecure about my handwriting and spelling. If I have to write something on a blackboard live in front of people, I just might faint.

When people ask me about my job, I feel insecure about my title: Administrative Assistant. I wonder if people judge since it sounds so dumb secretary, a typical female role making shit money.

30 Day Challenge (part 2)

20. Are you squeamish? 

What I'm squeamish about is any type of violence. During a violent scene in a movie I'll close my eyes or even walk away because my mind can't process that what I'm watching isn't real. I couldn't watch most of the Revenant (forget that bear scene) and almost threw up watching Deadpool. Violence in real life is too scary and the news is disturbing. If a loved one gets hurt, I don't cope well! So yes, I'm squeamish.

30 Day Challenge (part 2)

19. Guilty pleasures.

Expensive face creams, serums, sprays
Anything chocolate
Bachelor in paradise
Everything fried
Throwing out bananas
Romantic (teen) comedies

30 Day Challenge (part 2)

18. How you sleep. 

I like (need) a good quality (king size) mattress, down pillows, with fancy sheets and a dark room (black curtains, unplug the alarm clock it's too bright!). I shower before bed, moisturize everything, brush my teeth, floss, and rinse with mouth wash. I always sleep on my stomach (pregnancy was hard!).

I love sleep but since I had my son, sleep has been a challenge. At first, like all new moms, I would just not sleep... For 4 months I didn't sleep (maybe 2 nonconsecutive hours a day big max). Then I started to have panic attacks and sleep was never restful. I'm much better now but nighttime is still hard. I'm often waking up, scared or screaming. I sleep lightly, I feel tired.

But I still love sleep! I anticipate going to bed and love falling asleep. I go to bed early and often have cool dreams. I love sleep but I will never ever sleep in.

30 Day Challenge (part 2)

17. Favourite Smells.

Coffee
Lilac
Baby's-breath (the flower)
Lily of the valley
My son (perfect combo of pampers and sweat and spit)
Jean Paul Gauthier's cologne
The sweet smell of any bakery
My mom's skin after a swim
When it rains
Clean sheets that have be dried outside

30 Day Challenge (part 2)

16. What are some lyrics that best describe the year you are having. 

It's an old friend, dependable, comforting, predictable, frustrating and funny and annoying and the best TV show ever made!! Gilmore Girls, thanks for being streamable. You help me feel less anxious.

Where you lead, I will follow
Anywhere that you tell me to
If you need, you need me to be with you
I will follow where you lead

30 Day Challenge (part 2)

15. Words you hate.

Panties, purse, ladies because they all sound demeaning.

Tampon I have never used one, the hate runs that deep.

Hubby 

Condone because it confuses my brain every time.

Synergy

Flip, as in flip me an email.

When people say: you're lazy, she's fat, it's snowing.

30 Day Challenge (part 2)

14. What is an old album you go back and listen to, time and time again. And why? 


Songs: Ohia- The Lioness

Exactly 20 years ago (!) I started listening to Jason Molina and fell in love. I spent too much time alone around that time and related to the sad feel of the album. I felt the romanticism of the lyrics and daydreamed that Lioness was written for me. This album is so beautiful that to this day, it actually makes me cry when I listen to it from start to finish. There isn't one bad note, one song I want to skip. It's indie, alternative, country, Americana, melancholy genius.

30 Day Challenge (part 2)

13. Something (s) in your appearance you would like to change. 

My tummy, especially when I sit. My thighs eww.

My pronounced hip dips (this is the inward curve below the hips and above the thigh) that make clothes fit funny.

My hair, it's all thin and lacking volume and strength.

My chubby fingers.


This question should have been something (s) in your appearance that you love.

I like my mushy tummy, my mushy body, because it produced another human being. 

I like my pronounced hips because they accentuate my femininity. 

My hair because it's long and a natural rich brown colour.

My fingers that take a beating in the winter and still manage to stay strong and nimble.

30 Day Challenge (part 2)

12. What do you think people find annoying about you? 

I have certain issues with food that most people find annoying. Sometimes I'll buy something at the grocery store and the next day I'll just throw it out because I feel like the purchase was a mistake (wasteful eh?). I'm picky and if something seems "off" with my meal I'll lose my appetite and even feel nauseous. I eat super slowly. I dissect my food, especially a sandwich. I'll never ever finish what's on my plate (and if I'm served a soup I'll probably only have a quarter of it).

I won't participate in most conversations in a group setting.

I'm really boring in winter since I'll say no to all outdoor activities. No snowshoeing, skiing, nature walks, skating, playing outside etc etc. A few winters ago some friends went ice fishing... That's a hard no.

I type loudly.

I like to sigh.

30 Day Challege (part 2)

11. A reality you need to come to peace with. 

I have a child with special needs. Coming to terms with this reality is multifaceted... I can find peace but it's so easy to succumb to anger. I feel it mostly when people talk about their children (which is always!). I very easily and too often "check out", disengage, and wish for a distraction. I want to be able to listen with interest and offer something to the conversation! Maybe with time but for now, it's still really hard...

30 Day Challenge (part 2)

10. How do you want to be remembered? 

I want to be remembered as caring, goofy, complicated, loving, sensitive, mindful and hard working. Remember me as I am now, young and vibrant and always cuddling with Baby (even when he doesn't want to).